big challenges. big changes. big faith.

I am currently wearing a long sleeve, a sweatshirt, a jacket, leggings, jeans, socks, uggs and mittens, the heater is on and I am still cold. What I wouldn't give to be wearing a tanktop, shorts and flipflops, riding my bike down the strand with my friends. I am missing the California summer right about now.

 I realize I haven't updated this blog in ages and I'm not going to make excuses. I'm not going to mention that the last two months have been chaos or that I actually wrote a blog post a few weeks ago only for my computer to malfunction and delete it before I could post it. I won't mention those things because I'm not going to make excuses. So here is your update...

 As I mentioned, one of my non-excuses for the lack of update is that the last few months have been chaos. My best friend since 

childhood flew all the way out here to visit me for 10 days! It was refreshing to say the least. It was so awesome to be able to share this wholepart of my life with her, not to mentionthe much needed break and familiarity I needed after half a year here. There is just something so special about the people who really know  you, the people who it is just easy with. Her visit was filled with eating good food, laughing until it hurt, adventuring all over town and deep conversations that cut to the heart and soul. Not to mention the most awesomely random fatty late night prayer session for all of our friends at home. Ten days of best friend time. It was basically the best time ever. 

From mid May to mid June was the most difficult time I've had out here so far. We encountered a couple different issues with a few our students that were really hard to deal with and I began to feel defeated and useless. It was an extremely hard time for us as a staff as well as for me individually. I use past tense not because things are perfect or because the storms have passed. But because Jesus has brought peace in the midst of the storm. He is slowly but surely guiding us through the waves and calming the waters. Not only has he used this time to remind me of my complete and utter dependence on him, but he has also used it to give us a deeper and clearer vision for where to go from here.  He really used that time to show us what he wanted us to focus on and where he wanted changes to be made. And as we come out the other end of this whole situation, 

I believe we are a lot stronger as a staff, we are more focused as a ministry and I am more dependent on and in awe of God, not to mention more excited about where he is leading us from here. We have seen God's hand in all of it. God IS working in the midst of all this chaos. He IS good and sovereign. We have no choice but to trust him and rest in the fact that he loves these kids far more than we ever could. In all of this, I was weakened so Jesus could strengthen me. And though the weakening part kinda sucks, the strengthening from Jesus part is pretty rad.

One of the changes that we made in light of the last few months is one I personally am super excited about. I have officially given up most of my academic classes and am focusing now solely on the spiritual side of the Academy. We've started an actual class on the Bible as part of our ciriculum and I get to teach it! Which is pretty much the coolest thing I could ever imagine. When I first mentioned to Dennis Wadley that I thought it would be awesome to teach here, he asked me what I wanted to teach and I said Theology, to which he replied, "How about Biology?" At that point, the need that they had was academic teachers. Now, through the ways that God has worked this year, I am actually able to officially teach the Bible as a class! Seeing God's hand has been mind blowing. In addition to the 

Bible class, we have also started a discipleship program which goes a little deeper than we've been able to go in our devotion groups. Currently, we have two visitors from the States who are helping me out for the summer: Samantha who is doing the discipleship for the younger girls, and Caleb who is discipling the boys. I decided to focus first on our older girls because they are the ones we have the least amount of time left with. My hope is that I can pour into them and the Spirit will move so mightily in their lives that when Samantha leaves, our 12th grade girls can rise up and help mentor the younger girls. Please be praying for this new undertaking! I am so beyond excited about it! Also, please be praying that God brings a male staff to do the same for the boys. I will continue to pour into the guys as much as I can but when it comes down to it, they need to see what a godly MAN looks like. So PLEASE be praying for that role to be filled. 

After being here 6 months, I am a full believer in God’s plan being better than our own. I don’t want anything that he doesn’t have for me. I could never imagine anything as awesome as being a part of 

what God is doing here, what he is allowing me to witness, the ways he is allowing me to be used. Although I miss my family and friends TREMENDOUSLY, I have met God in ways I had only heard about. My life is about so much more than it ever has been. It has a defined meaning and purpose that I am actually embracing. And that meaning and purpose, that kingdom focus, is something I am preparing to transfer home, when the time comes. But even that, the timing of things, I leave up to God. As much as I am looking forward to coming home in December, if he calls me to stay, I stay. If he says it’s time to go home, I go. I will only go where he directs from now on. His plan is way more awesome than the mediocre, hum-drum life I can conjure up for myself. I want that plan and everything it has to offer. 

Things I’ve learned lately:

I can only last 6 months away from real Mexican food, In-n-Out, Classic Burger breakfast and buffalo wings before they start making cameo appearances in my dreams.

There is nothing that compares to being known, really and truly known, and being loved regardless.  More than any location, those people are my home.

My own strength and capabilities are laughable. God’s strength and capabilities are ridiculously awesome.

Humility might be my least favorite lesson to have to learn. Can’t wait to learn, grow and move on to the next lesson already!

I am so deeply in love with these children that I might physically die when it comes time to leave them.  I’m convinced they’re the most awesome kids currently on this planet, not to mention the cutest.

God makes way cooler plans for our lives than we could ever dream up for ourselves.

Jesus has changed my entire world.  I’ve reached the point of no return. I will never be the same again.